Monday, July 9, 2012

Monday Musings

Monday Musings....rambles through the tangled files of my brain.....

.....marriage is hard, but oh so worth it.

.....meeting my children's needs, to develop them according to their bents and strengths is something I strive for and often fail at.

....feeling the need to be a deliberate goal setter so I don't go marching round the same bend again and again and again...

....tried out a natural homemade facial peel made of unflavored gelatin and milk: the verdict is still out...

....thinking of school starting and savoring the fewer demands on my time...

....wondering if the feeling of always being just on the edge of the 'inner circle' ever goes away

....wondering why that matters

...wishing for a retreat....a vanish from society for a while

....thinking hard about worship and what that means and looks like in a church setting not want people to equate God's presence with the quality of our music and type of music because where two or three are gathered he is in the midst. His presence is not dependent on music.

....wondering if we focus too much on the 'externals' of worship ie: music, song choice, instruments, tastes of music and fail to remember that it isn't about the music, but the state of our hearts before a holy God

....pondering justice and mercy meeting at the cross

....God is just: he requires a perfect sacrifice. he is perfect so he became the sacrifice

....God is merciful---not giving me what I deserve--death, separation, damnation--but because he is just and merciful--too seemingly incompatible ideas and fused them into one action--his death on the cross so I could be free to live in harmony, togetherness, unity, fellowship, with him.

....Oh how he loves.....

....rather smooth skin from my 'facial peel' and peel it certainly was...wowza!! ? of a messy, messy kitchen....

....thinking of friendships and wondering how to navigate my children through friendships

...aching over hurt child's feelings and wanting to step in and protect them, but knowing, knowing that this is really a God-given opportunity for teaching

...ready (I think) to take that leap into God's unknown and trust him to make the way firm

...always it comes back to this: surrender and trust.

Monday's Musings--quite the tangled ramble of all that is swirling and twirling in the noggin

Over and out.....

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Hosea 14:9

Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand them. The ways of the Lord are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.

Boy, when I read this, I think 'Whew, I sure am glad I am not rebellious, I would hate to stumble in God's ways.'  Hmmm....right there, I think I have a problem. Does this sound like pride to anyone?

As I ponder this verse and let the words swirl around in my head and heart I see that when my heart is right, God's way is easy to walk in, but when my heart is rebellious, God's ways are difficult to accept and I do find myself stumbling over and through them.










All of these and more have been my stumbling blocks to walking freely in God's ways. When my heart is filled with anything other than the righteousness of Christ, I will stumble and fall. This I know. But what about the other side of the subject? What about all that Christ says I am in him? 




Sung over





Can my refusal to listen to this side of God's heart for me cause me to stumble in His ways? Yes, it can. 
When I refuse to see myself the way God sees me, I am rebelling against him just as I rebel when I withhold forgiveness for an offense. 

Why is it easier to see all of my failings and I am more than ready and willing to bring them to the cross to find forgiveness, but it is harder, much harder for me to believe and embrace all that God sees in me. 

Accepting his love and goodness just because he loves me because he made me, can be a stumbling block for me to trip over. I will skim those verses that speak of my preciousness to God and apply them to someone elses life, but not my own. Isn't this a form of rebellion as well? Is it no wonder I stumble when my heart is filled with denial towards the depth of God's love for me?

To reach out and accept the fact that I am chosen and accepted and approved is not a form of pride. It is accepting truth. The truth of how God sees me. Maybe if I place this template of truth over my heart I will begin to see my little idiosyncrasies through his eyes and rather than self-condemning myself for all my flaws, lift them one at a time to him and ask him....'What would you like to do with this, Father?'

It is in this act of surrender...acceptance that I will walk freely in his freedom. Because as 2 Corinthians 5:21 says: 'He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.' I am clothed in his righteousness. I wear his robe of righteousness and when I wear this robe he sees me as:








his own.

Maybe I  need to look not into the mirror that hangs in my bathroom, but I need to look into the mirror of his love and embrace all he sees. 

 Then I will walk in his words freely, without stumbling, but with victory.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

My obedience or disobedience affects not only my relationship with God, but it also affects the body of Christ because I am part of a body. I am part of something bigger than myself. I am a part of a whole picture of which I can only see a tiny little corner. I do not stand alone, but I often act like I am.

When I don't listen to the small whisper that urges, 'Hug this one,' or 'Write this one', or 'read this little one a story', my disobedience is not simply between me and my Jesus, but it affects the one whom I was urged to touch and love.

This life of following Christ is not an isolated one. I am the means by which he touches hearts and lives. When I fail to respond to His urgings, His love and blessings that He longs to flow through me to others is stopped.

I paraphrase Psalm 119:57-60:

He is my portion!
I promise to obey your words. 
I seek Your face with all my heart.
He is gracious to me according to his promise.
I think about my ways and turn my ways to what you command. 
I will be quick to obey and not delay.

So, 'God is my portion'--he is all I need. I don't need the approval of others, I don't need success, I don't need (gasp!) a purpose, for he is my approval, he is my success, he is my purpose. 

'I will obey your words'---his words, his heart: my words, my heart. the only way this is at all possible is by reading and knowing and meditating on His words. His words. Not mine. 

'I seek Him with all my heart'. Where is my heart? This is why I must guard my heart because if I let down my guard....then I begin to seek approval, success, and purpose. 

'He is gracious to me'....this one is hard for me. It is hard to accept those gifts freely given with no strings attached.  But truth it is...He is gracious to me, thank-you Jesus! 

'I am mindful of my ways'---what am I thinking? Where am I going? And then if I have gotten off course, then it's time to get right back to it. 

'I will be quick to obey and not delay'. Hmm....this one, have I? Do I ? No, sometimes I like to excuse away my reasons for delaying to obey, but really, delayed obedience is disobedience. Ouch. That one hurts.

So all this wrapped up in a tidy little bow? I pray that I will obey without delay. And in order to do this, I will pray Psalm 119:134 which states: 'Redeem me from the oppression of men, that I may obey your precepts.' 

Free me from the expectations of other people so that my heart and focus can be solely on you!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

This native little flower to the place I call home is a gem, hidden from view unless you look close and it's time of glory is oh so brief. 

It reminds me to think that as my God 
cares for 
clothes the hills 
spoke into being
He must care for me, whom he 
breathed life into. 

I am.... 
Filled with the very breath of God. 

This drops me to my knees and I look down and as my eyes fall onto this exquisite little bloom, 
his truth fills and swells and I cannot help but say...